Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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