I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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