I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
