Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is Oprah even human
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
