they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
