I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
