I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
