Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
