Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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