did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
