I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
