I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
