last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
