i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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