so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
