What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
