is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
