I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
