My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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