when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
