I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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