took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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