two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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