so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
