(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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