Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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