It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
