How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize