it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize