Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
