He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i now understand why vodka
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
