Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
