please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
