R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
