You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
