Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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