My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
