Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
