Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
