We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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