I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
