People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
