i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I believe in your delicious
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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