I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
