Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
