if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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