Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Welp...herpes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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