problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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