i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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