nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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