no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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