Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
