You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
These tits shall not be calmed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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