Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
