If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is wine microwaveable?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize