I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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