she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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