He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
