bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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