Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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