ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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