Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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