I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize