your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
