we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
