I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
