and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
